Family reunions good for mental and generational health

Coming out of a year of limited contact, many people have realized that it’s their weird, wacky, sometimes frustrating family members they miss the most. As COVID-19 restrictions are beginning to be lifted, families are starting to plan their family reunions.

When many are struggling with different aspects of getting their life back to normal, Choctaw Nation Integrated Care Project Manager Mary Ayn Tullier, RN., explained that support of other family members can help.
“It’s really important to gather the support you need for good mental health and get hope from your family members,” said Tullier.

According to Tullier, these reunions don’t have to be elaborate affairs; Sunday dinners with immediate families are one way to stay in contact with those closest to you.

You could host smaller family gatherings, monthly meetings or picnics with family members in a regional area. Then a yearly, larger reunion with family members traveling from across the country ensures consistent contact with a robust family support system. These larger family reunions are also where relatives from across the country get the opportunity to meet new spouses and babies that they otherwise wouldn’t have. These larger gatherings also create a stronger bond with distant relatives that give a sense of belonging.

If you’re in an area with no immediate family nearby, Tullier suggests that it doesn’t have to be blood family.

“There’s a work family that you love and care for; there are different families [such as church families] that you can get hope and encouragement from,” explained Tullier.

Tullier stresses that the important thing is to develop a supportive family who can be there for you when you need it.

Reunions with family members have benefits beyond just finding out what’s been going on. Recording family histories can have effects that last for generations.

“Hearing the stories of different family members, how they grew up or how they remember their grandparents or heard stories about their great-grandparents is important,” said Tullier. “A lot of families have really strong backgrounds with their whole family praying for them down through the generations.”

Hearing these stories of generational support can provide hope to those who need it most.

These memories and histories of Choctaw families also help teach younger generations about their ancestors, philosophies, ways of life and values as Choctaw people. As family elders age, reunions are an excellent opportunity to record these histories for future generations before they are lost.

Basic things like when and where were they were born and important details about their life are just the start. Getting as much information from elders about the things they remember, including stories told to them by their elders, is key to preserving a family’s Native culture.

“The way to develop [as a family] is to learn about each other, to gather stories about each other and to see how other family members have coped with different problems or experiences in their life… that’s how you can grow emotionally to combat the different things that come up that hurt mental health,” said Tullier.

For more tips and ideas on recording family histories, see the Iti Fabvssa in the June 2020 Biskinik.